For entertainment reasons, if nothing else, you gotta be rooting for Scott Lee Cohen to gather the 25,000 signatures he’ll need by June 21 to gain a spot on the ballot in the race for governor of Illinois.
Cohen, disgraced into withdrawing as a lieutenant governor candidate, recently announced his intentions to run for governor at a “rally” attended by a crowd that was more like a gathering than a crowd. Perhaps he looked at the track records of recent Illinois governors and figured the bar was lower than it is for lieutenant guv.
After soliciting resumes for a running mate as if he were looking for someone to handle the night shift at a White Castle, Cohen says Baxter Swilley will be his lieutenant governor candidate.
Baxter Swilley! Fantastic name. Tell me that doesn’t sound like a character from one of those old screwball comedies where everyone swills martinis and talks in fast, clipped tones. “Dexter, when are you going to get over the fact that I was once engaged to Baxter Swilley? He doesn’t mean anything to me now, darling!”
I’m not saying Scott Lee Cohen deserves to be the next governor of Illinois, but at the very least he deserves his own reality show on cable access in Chicago.
You know you’d watch.
Hazing Arizona
Like millions of other American citizens who abhor the idea of racial profiling, I believe Arizona’s immigration law is a wrongheaded and simpleminded non-solution to an admittedly serious problem.
But you’ve got to raise an eyebrow at some of the more overwrought and ridiculous reactions to the new law as well.
Protesters with picket signs outside Wrigley Field when the Arizona Diamondbacks were in town? Calls for the White Sox to move their spring training facility out of Arizona? A movement to get the 2011 Major League Baseball All-Star game moved from Phoenix? Good intentions, wrong targets.

Not to mention the Twitterers, Facebookers and bloggers who called for a boycott of Arizona Iced Tea — which is brewed in New York. In the immortal words of Otter from Delta House, “I think this situation absolutely requires a futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.” It’d be difficult to come up with something more futile and stupid than boycotting a New York-brewed iced tea because it has the name “Arizona” on the can.
Now comes word Highland Park’s girls basketball team isn’t going to a tournament in Arizona because the trip “would not be aligned with our beliefs and values,” according to a District 113 official quoted in a Tribune story.
Seems unfair to plunge the girls into the middle of this controversy after they’d spent months raising funds for the trip. It’s a slippery slope when school officials start injecting their political beliefs into extracurricular activities such as this. I wouldn’t go so far as to call I “stupid and futile,” but it seems misguided and unfair.
Meanwhile, I will be deleting the 1969 Mark Lindsay single “Arizona” from my iPod and throwing out my copy of the Coen brothers’ “Raising Arizona.”
It’s the least I can do. The very least.
Straight talk about gay actors
When I read Newsweek writer Ramin Setoodeh’s essay in which he asked why we accept straight actors in gay roles much more readily than gay actors in straight roles, I thought, uh-oh. It would have been an upset if Setoodeh hadn’t come under fire for his comments.
Actress Kristin Chenoweth and blogger Perez Hilton ripped into Setoodeh, and “Glee” creator Ryan Murphy called for a boycott of Newsweek until Setoodeh apologizes. (Again with the boycotts.)
In a follow-up piece, Setoodeh — who is openly gay — told of receiving nasty e-mails, anonymous phone calls and “a creepy letter” sent to his home. Nothing like combatting perceived bigotry with personal attacks and hatred.
Thing is, Setoodeh’s main point was valid — that audiences will buy the likes of Jake Gyllenhaall, Sean Penn, Robin Williams, et al., playing gay, but “if an actor the stature of George Clooney came out of the closet today, would we still accept him as a heterosexual leading man?”

Odds are at least one or two of the world’s most macho, hetero-appearing leading men are closeted gays. (We know that was the case with Rock Hudson, among others.) But any action star or romantic hero entertaining the notion of coming out would be met with a wall of opposition from agents, managers, handlers, etc., that would tell him he’s committing career suicide.
Can a gay man have a career as a romantic lead? Sure. As long as we don’t know the truth about him.
Richard Roeper will be signing copies of his book Bet the House at the Hammond Horseshoe at 9 tonight and at the Barnes and Noble at 1441 W. Webster Place at 7:30 p.m. Friday.